john owen on our ignorance of our own good

This is from John Owen’s “Forgiveness of Sin.” The last section of the book is about waiting on God. I finished this a few months ago, but this section keeps coming back to me.

I doubt not but it will appear at the last day that a world of evil in the hearts of men was stifled by the destruction of their outward concerns ; that many were delivered from temptations by it, who otherwise would have been overtaken to their ruin and the scandal of the Gospel; that many a secret imposthume [tumor] has been lanced and cured by a stroke; for God does not send judgments on his own for judgment’s sake, for punishment’s sake, but always to accomplish some blessed design of grace towards them. And there is no one soul in particular, which shall rightly search itself and consider its state, but will be able to see wisdom, grace and care towards itself in all the dispensations of God. And if I would here enter upon the benefits that, through the sanctifying hand of God, redound to believers by afflictions, calamities, troubles, distresses, temptations and like effects of God’s visitations, it would be of use to the souls of men in this case. But this subject has been so often and so well treated that I shall not here insist upon it. I desire only that we should seriously consider how utterly ignorant we are of what is good for us or useful to us in these outward things, and so leave them quietly to God’s disposal.

Anxieties of mind and perplexities of heart about our losses, is not what we are called to in our trouble; but this is our duty : let us consider whether we love God or not, whether we are called according to his purpose; if so, all things are well in his hand, who can order them for our good and advantage. I hope many a poor soul will from hence, under every trouble, be able to say with him that was banished from his country, and found better entertainment elsewhere, “My friends, I had perished, if I had not perished:” had I not been undone by fire, it may be I had been ruined in eternal fire. God hath made all to work for my good.

Our design in all this is to evince the reasonableness of the duty of waiting on God, which we are pressing from the Psalmist’s example. Ignorance of God and ourselves is the great cause of all our disquiet. And this arises mostly, not from want of light and instruction, but from want of consideration and application” (emphasis mine).

abraham and isaac

God has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that He exists to Abraham. Abraham has heard His voice, has witnessed his justice, and has finally experienced the fulfillment of the promise. Now, God orders Abraham to do something that tests Abraham’s belief in God’s goodness, wisdom, and justice. He orders Abraham to make a child sacrifice. I do not think I can fully understand the emotional weight that is in this passage of Scripture. Isaac is a child, his son, his only son born to his before barren wife whose womb God Himself opened miraculously. Isaac is the promised seed that God had Abraham wait for, whom Abraham will leave everything to. Every hope of Abraham rests on this child, and God demands Abraham’s own hand to kill him.

God does not apologize for his command. He knows there is something dangerous in the promise that must be weeded out. It is that Abraham would love, trust, hope in, obey, and fear the promised blessing more than the Giver. God demands Abraham’s worship, obedience, and sacrifice, but the reason is to protect Abraham from from idolatrous love of his son. (We see later in Genesis what happens when fathers are not protected from this. The next two generations, Isaac and Jacob, both have families that are split because of a father’s impure love of a son.)

Again, God is stretching Abraham’s ability to comprehend His love and wisdom through His treatment of the promise. God is after the deepest parts of Abraham’s heart: his love and his fear. He is molding Abraham’s heart so that His blessing will not cease to be a blessing. A seed is not a blessing unless it too falls to the ground. The life of a seed is always in its death. Hold it too tightly, and you will choke it.

abraham, sarah, and waiting

God continues to repeat his promise. In the last stages before its fulfillment, Abraham and Sarah begin to laugh. The promise is becoming to sound  far-fetched, and ludicrous. Almost to accentuate their feelings, God tells them to name their son “He laughs”. Abraham reveals his doubt by asking God to have Ishmael carry his line, but God refuses, “Your wife Sarah will bear you a son.”

This waiting is inseparable from the promise itself. The waiting blesses them in a way that simply receiving God’s promised blessing does not. The waiting is a stretching that allows for the fullest experience of God’s promises. Without the waiting the promise would be incomplete.

Inherent in all promises is waiting. If what was to be promised is immediately given, there is no need for a promise. God chooses not to bless immediately, but to give a promise instead. Without a promise, trust in the Giver is nonexistent. A promise asks the receiver, “Do you trust the giver?” If so, the receiver relies on the faithfulness of the giver and waits. If not, the receiver says to the giver, “you are not faithful to carry out your promise because you are either not strong enough to carry it out, not wise enough to see how, or not loving enough to care for me and therefore you are a liar.”

God has great purpose in making Abraham and Sarah wait. He is digging deep in their character, their faith, and in their marriage. He uncovers the unbelief they have in His power, wisdom, and goodness. He allows bad decisions and doesn’t stop the painful repercussions. In all this, He is stretching them so they can receive the promise in all its fullness.

God refuses to allow Abraham to settle with contentment with a son from another woman’s womb, from the creation of his own disbelief. He wants them to experience the extravagance of His blessing and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that God is not holding back from them. God wants them to experience the full amount of joy that is contained in His promise. He wants them to know that they are not dependent on their own faithfulness to experience the faithfulness of God.

Abraham and Sarah doubt the promise

After ten years in Canaan, after God reiterates the promise multiple times, after God has rescued Abraham from mishaps in Egypt, after he has seen God’s power in the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham and Sarah continue to doubt the promise that led them out of their county, family, and home. This doubt leads to disaster in Abraham and Sarah’s marriage. Sarah begins to see her barrenness as the root of the problem. She decides to manipulate the situation and initiates a solution: take another woman into the marriage. Abraham passively agrees.

When I read this I am shocked. This may have been the culture of the day, but it is still a terrible decision on both Sarah and Abraham’s part. And I can hardly believe that Sarah initiates this. I think what happens is a progression: Sarah sees herself as the problem, she begins to believe this lie (perhaps she thinks that Abraham will throw her out because she is the problem), then out of self-protection she manipulates the situation. What she doesn’t realize is that she isn’t the problem and that her self-protection is really self-destruction. Abraham does not do much better. Somehow he believes that this might have been what God meant. Abraham fails to lead, fails to seek God in this decision, and fails to protect his wife and his marriage.
Abraham should have reminded his wife that they are one flesh and as his wife plays an integral part in the promise, that her weakness is his weakness, and that God would not bless them at the expense of their marriage.

genesis meditations: the first family

Adam fails to protect his wife in his passivity. His sin snowballs with hiding in shame and not accepting his responsibility by blaming his wife. His work is cursed and he is sent from the garden. Genesis then records Adam and Eve’s sons. (Strife between paired siblings is a great theme in Genesis: Cain and Abel, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, and Rachel and Leah.) God cursed work for man a few verses back, and now the first recorded brotherly struggle is based on one brother comparing his work to another. The fruit (literally) of Cain’s labor is rejected by God while his younger brother’s is accepted. Perhaps Cain thinks he is being generous, but his offering is found unacceptable.

Here is where I found something very interesting: Cain’s reaction of being found unacceptable and his sin snowballing is both alike and opposite his father’s. It is alike in that he does not respond with accepting his guilt and repenting. It is opposite in that while Adam responds passively with feelings of shame and hiding, Cain reacts actively with feelings of anger. God’s voice finds Cain as it did his father with questions: “Why are you angry?” God’s questioning seeks to lead Cain to reconciliation to himself and his brother. Cain does not listen to God. He does not wrestle with these questions but instead chooses to act out of his anger by killing his bro.

After this, God’s voice finds him again with a question: “Where is your brother?” After Cain’s infamous response, God uncovers Cain’s guilt with another question: “What have you done?” God curses him and his work again.

In this very first story of generations we see the disastrous consequences of unreconciled sin. And we see a surprising pattern: Adam reacted to sin by abandoning, but Cain reacted by abusing. Adam felt shame, while Cain felt anger. Adam blamed his wife; Cain acted violently against his brother. Adam’s sin of passivity may seem docile compared to Cain’s act of aggression, but Adam passed on the seeds of sin. The seeds of passive sin don’t necessarily bud into passivity. More often than not, they bear fruit ripe with anger and violence.

I draw out this correlation because it seems that silence and passivity aren’t that bad. I have more of a tendency towards passivity than to anger. And I’m tempted to think that passivity isn’t as dangerous as anger. An aversion to conflict doesn’t seem to affect anyone. But the truth is that passivity is a small seed that grows into a large tree with dangerous fruit. It is something that should be fought against and repented of with the passion that we would fight a desire to murder.

Also, the relationship between a father and son is so important. It is shocking that this first story after the fall is so violent. I think it is because Adam does not seek to reconcile to God. I think this because it is only at the end of Genesis 4 after Adam has another son that the Bible says, “At that time men began to call on the name of the Lord.” And since Adam doesn’t do it, his son Cain does not know how either. Of course, Cain is guilty for his sin and God holds him responsible, but I think we do not consider the relationships that lead to actions like this.

Key observations:

-God seeks me out with questions to allow me to come into the light. I need to respond honestly and with repentance.

-How do I view sins of passivity? Do I think they are “not that bad…” Am I helping others to resist passivity with passion?

-What am I passing onto future generations? Am I helping others learn how to reconcile themselves to God?

-Do I become angry or anxious when God or others do not find the fruit of my labor acceptable?

-Am I comparing myself with others? “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?” (Gen. 4:7) Repent of comparison as soon as I do it. Learn from others. Rejoice with others.

Meditations on Genesis

Genesis: A book of beginnings. A book of families walking with God and trying to follow His promises without any official Law. The story of Abraham: his response to the call of God and how this impacts  his great great grandkids.

I have been reading Genesis for about 2 months now. More and more I am struck by how good God is in the face of how dysfunctional his children are.

My biggest find: If God’s grace can come to the Patriarchs, remain with them their whole lives, and continue into their children and grandchildren, then it will remain with me. If they couldn’t mess up the promise from being fulfilled in their lives, then neither can I.

McDonald’s Laws of Unseized Time

Law #1 Unseized time flows toward my weaknesses.
Law #2 Unseized time comes under the control of dominant people.
Law #3 Unseized time surrenders to the demands of emergencies.
Law #4 Unseized time gets invested in things that gain public acclamation.

I’m realizing how true these are.

play

I just learned this new trump game called “Napoleon and his secretary.” I have a lot of fun playing it. And I’ve been trying to figure out why. Thinking about this is linked to a few other things that I’ve found really fun but don’t really know why. Among those are basketball, playing “King of the Hill” on this little dock at night in the ocean, and Settlers of Catan.

I think I enjoy these things because they are very competitive. It’s an opportunity to test my strength against others, and to be creative and try things at the same time. I think I’ve been thinking about this more since my back has been hurting and I haven’t been physically able to do some of the things that I enjoy and find energy from.

Anyway, out of curiousity I searched “games” on TED talks and got this: “Play is more than fun.” It was very interesting. The speaker explores why play is important to us as humans and why we should find ways to play even in adulthood.

 

how david beats goliath

How did a girls basketball team consisting mostly of players who had never touched a ball before, and coached by a guy who also had never played win a national championship?

This is one of the most interesting things I’ve read in a while. It’s long but worth reading for all the stories, examples, and tie-ins to the Biblical story of David and Goliath. The main points are very simple though:

• Acknowledge your weaknesses and play to your strengths. David knows how to handle a sling and a staff, not a sword and a shield,  “What happened, Arreguín-Toft wondered, when the underdogs likewise acknowledged their weakness and chose an unconventional strategy? He went back and re-analyzed his data. In those cases, David’s winning percentage went from 28.5 to 63.6. When underdogs choose not to play by Goliath’s rules, they win, Arreguín-Toft concluded, “even when everything we think we know about power says they shouldn’t.””
• Effort can substitue for ability. “the slingshot part—is what made David famous. But the first sentence matters just as much. David broke the rhythm of the encounter. He speeded it up. “The sudden astonishment when David sprints forward must have frozen Goliath, making him a better target,” the poet and critic Robert Pinsky writes in “The Life of David.” Pinsky calls David a “point guard ready to flick the basketball here or there.” David pressed. That’s what Davids do when they want to beat Goliaths

Tim Keller

Not sure if everybody knows, but Tim Keller’s church, Redeemer Presybeterian Church, expanded their free sermons page. They’ve got about 150 free ones now.

My recommendation: His series on The Prodigal God in What is the Gospel? Keller uses the story of the Lost Son to cut to the heart of what lost-ness is, who God is, and what salvation is.

The Struggle for Love. Heard this my freshman year, and it totally changed how I see the gospel in the Old Testament and how I read Genesis.